It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
