So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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