real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
