So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
