is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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