he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
