That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
