Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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