no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
