Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
