they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
