4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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