She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
