dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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