Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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