we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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