If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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