why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
