5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
