I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
