she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
