Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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