I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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