Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
