why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
