I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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