so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
