If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There's always time for handjobs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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