He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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