Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
