Me. At least after what I've been through.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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