you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
