No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
accomplished twins. life is a go
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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