you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
