i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
