She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
