Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
