Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
