That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
