Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
