We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
