Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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