the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
