dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
