I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
