And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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