I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
