butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
