I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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