I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
