It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Blood and glitter go together right?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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